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Ronald McDonald, commonly known as Old McDonald, Old MacDonald, Pennywise the Dancing Clown, and Themanwith Theyellowhat is a legendary hero.

Studies Show That

  • He went through MAJOR plastic surgery.
    • Approximately 70% of him is HD 1080p plastic, which causes his terrifying mime look.
  • He lives longer than most humans because he is secretly an alien from Neptune.
  • His deceased pet monkey, George "Georgie" Curiousity, had a brother named Buh Buh Buh Billy Boy.
  • During boring times of his life, he terrorizes children as Pennywise the Dancing Clown. However, he is not IT and he only appears at cosplays.
  • He may not be the same person as the "Man with the Yellow Hat."
    • This is just speculation.
  • He can not count.
    • This explains why you sometimes get 24 chicken mcnuggets at McDonald's.
    • He may be an ancestor of the kid who sang 9+10=21.
  • His pet monkey passed away MANY years ago from pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
    • However, a rumor states that he may have died after floating.
  • His wife, River Nyden, has severe OCD which somehow forces her to make no public appearances.
    • River is a nymph.

Notable Accomplishments & Talents

  • Lived over 100 years (and still going!)
  • Can mime better than Larry the Mime
  • Founded McDonald's (Formerly Rick's Fat Food)
  • Had a classic nursery rhyme named after him
  • Brought many animals to the rest of the world
  • Befriending monkeys
  • Starring in Televisional media
  • Can easily scare little children
  • E I E I OH!
  • Floats
  • Has an ancestor who ended the Stupid Cat Revolution

Timeline

1917: Born

1939: Adopted pet monkey

1941: Became famous for wearing yellow

1955: Became a mime

1963: Joined McDonalds

1967: Ronald goes International

1975: Got lazy and created the "Drive-Thru"

1981: Became a dancing mime

1984: Retired

1986: Wrote a book about his friend, Curious George "Georgie"

1990: Made a series about his book

2016: Taken off of McDonalds merch cuz mimes are scary

2017: Created a G-rated movie

Family History

His father, Korronith Emmundol M'xeDhanalltz (much better known in English as Corro E. McDonald) was a half-Chinese, half-Latin'arabian architect. The result of his Asian and ?Laranbian? ancestry oddly caused him to look like a pale, clown-like person with a hard-to-understand accent. Born in the mid-1800s, Corro fell in love at age 11 with a French 20 year old called "U'zmerry" Amaelhe Zmyzhd (English: "Amari" Emily Smith *note: her real first name cannot be pronounced in English nor French without throwing up while saying it*). They got married thirteen years later, and soon after, in 1889, Jeni aMasi Zmyzhd-McDonald (English: Jenna May Smith-McDonald) was born. In 1897, their second child, Kenn Rin McDonald (English: Ken Ronald McDonald) was born, but he died two days later of a disease called noklounitis (a disease that newborn half-clowns get when they do not act like clowns). Twenty years later, their oh-so-famous son, Rin Eishi McDonald (English: Ronald E. McDonald) was born to replace Ken Ronald. His mother, Amari Smith, died while giving birth to him. Corro was saddened by his wife's death, so in 1919, he adopted Mai-Ling Sita'majrin-ya (English: Melissa Sachmary-Young) from his former hometown in Asia. Ronald became famous in the 1940s, and the rest is history.

Wife's Family

Old McDonald's wife, River-Anne Nyden, has a history of famous ancestors. She is an only child as it is the tradition of her family.

Parents

Wizard Dave Achryno Nyden & Lakette Lee Smith

Paternal Grandparents

Shashi Morid Nyden & Camsiri Indibel Macsorosyn

Maternal Grandparents

Wat'ter Mark Smith & Nana May Caroline

Trivia

  • His ancestor who stopped the Stupid Cat Revolution was his great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather (he's dead, duh).